I said what I said! For so many, myself included, having a great work-life balance has been a real goal. Being able to spend adequate time with family, work, maybe school, etc. The point is, work-life balance has symbolized harmony among all the moving parts in our lives.
However, when I was seemingly at my highest, I realized I was miserable. Why? My schedule was down pact. My kiddo was happy and cared for while I was at work. Money was no issue. I was even able to buy a home. So why was I so unhappy?
Self-evaluation led me to see that although I was balancing everything on my plate, some of those things weren’t good for me. I was no longer happy with my job, even though I was paid well. And while my child was happy, healthy, and loved, I wanted more time with her. My schedule at the time had me working weekends. Feeling as though I had to sacrifice what was most important to me, my family, for the sake of a job that I didn’t care for did not sit right with me, no matter how balanced it all looked.
I walked in on a Friday, and announced it would be my last day. I had no real plan, but I knew what I was doing wasn’t working for me any longer. I never thought the words “I quit” would release such a weight off of me. I didn’t work for three months. (You can read about that in my post about my mental health vacation) But what I did do helped change the trajectory for me.
I wrote a lot in my journal about why work-life balance wasn’t enough. And why I no longer believed balance was the goal. Balance simply means you’re keeping everything on your plate afloat. However, you could be balancing things like toxic relationships, a hostile work environment, and much more that is hindering personal growth, purpose, and peace.
I thought a lot about what was important to me, what my core values were. My faith and my family were at the top of the list. They’re non-negotiable for me. Anything that hindered me in either of those areas was not meant to be in my life. Period.
What I found through my journaling, reading, and self-evaluation was that I was missing alignment in my life. Alignment, per the dictionary, means all components working together. For me, alignment meant peace because all areas of my life would be conducive towards my purpose and overall well being. Instead of pursuing balance, I started pursuing things that aligned with who I am, my purpose, and what did not require me to sacrifice my core values.
Now, while pursuing things that are aligned with me has proven successful, it doesn’t mean all obstacles have disappeared. If anything, knowing what I’m doing or involved in is in alignment with me and my purpose makes it worthwhile. Work feels less like work because I enjoy what I’m doing, and it’s in line with what I’m supposed to be doing.
Living in alignment, or attempting to, forced me to not just look at my external situation, but internal as well. Alignment meant me doing my part, too. At that time in my life, this meant being patient and understanding that what was for me was on its way, and would present itself when the timing was right. It also meant gaining discipline for the days I didn’t feel like it; growing confident in myself and my abilities (decreasing my own self-doubt) to go after what I truly desired and deserved; and being strong enough to let things go and NOT try to get them back.
Now, a few years later, and I find myself at another season in my life where I am needing to redefine my values and how to live in alignment with them. What served me back then is not serving who I am today, or the woman I know is emerging from within me. I am forced to make adjustments and alterations to my life, my thinking, my environment, and my habits to fit this new version of myself. Every new level of our lives requires a new version of ourselves.
No , I don’t believe in work-life balance anymore. But I absolutely thrive when I focus on living in alignment with who I’m meant to be.
Can you relate? Are you chasing balance or seeking alignment? Drop me a comment. Until next time, loves.
Always with love …
Jae